Butte Beat: Unadulterated, Fantastic, Fleeting Solitude

BUTTE, MT - Solitude.

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We all need it. We all want it. And, some of us, are terrified of it. I knew someone for a long time who always had to be hanging out with someone, whether it be with a friend or family member, on her phone via phone call, or even with a stranger—in desperate situations. Anything she could possibly do to avoid being alone with the "demons" in her head (though, admittedly, most of the time that was just me whispering things into her ear as she slept).

Although I don't relate to it, I empathize with it. It's hard to be alone, especially when you don't trust or believe in yourself. Even if you do, being lonely is like literally feeling the weight of all the decisions you've ever made being rested upon your shoulders—and who wants to go through that? Not even an emotional masochist.

Anyway, like I said: sometimes, you just want to be alone. In those cases, I prefer to use the term solitude because it sounds much happier, provides a more positive connotation, and—if you're a gaming nerd like me—Solitude is an awesome video game location. So, to recap: alone = okay, lonely = sad, and solitude = fancy alone.

And I like being fancy alone. I like grabbing a book, a seat at a bench, and, if I can manage, a hold of my thoughts, and just being, to the absolute best of my capabilities. No one around you (or, if there are, strangers), no reason to be no one but yourself, and no idea what's next.

And there's no better place to do that in Butte than at Stodden Park. Where the grass is always trimmed, the birds are always chirping, and the damn basketball courts are always taken. Sorry, a personal gripe slid in there. But whether the courts are taken or not, there's always a chance for me to catch up with myself, enjoy the clouds soaring across the great blue sky, and understand that life is finite—appreciate it while you can.